Understanding
by museumheist
Summary: When someone leaves a nasty message for Raven on her window, all she wants is someone who understands. Oneshot - rated T for language, mentions of religion, and themes unsuitable for younger readers - Raven-centric, with Cyborg and Robin.


So this is pretty much the first thing I've posted here… in a long time. I hope you guys like it – I'm actually proud of this one.

A few warnings: one, the author's note at the end is kinda long. Feel free to skip it. xD But, seriously, I do have to warn you: the T rating is _not_ for safety. It is a _strong_ T rating, for talk of religion, damnation, offensive language, mentions of racism, and a lot of other bad stuff. It should also be noted that if you are a follower of Christianity, this may or may not offend you. That wasn't my intention writing this. I have nothing against religion itself – just the people that take it too far. But, seriously. This is _not_ happy stuff.

You have been warned…

* * *

She would always remember that first time best, just because of how unprepared she was. It didn't help that they had used red spray paint – it reminded her too much of other things, of runes etched on her body like bleeding wounds. For several moments, she had simply sat there on her bed, staring at the words on the window.

Finally, still in a state of shock, she slid out of bed, summoning a cloak to herself and throwing it on, making sure her hood was up. There was no reason to worry anyone with her problem. She could get it cleaned off later, hopefully before the rest of the team noticed. Yes, that was what she would do. She slid the curtains shut, as though she could make it go away with dark velvet drapery. With a sigh, she left her room, feeling a sharp need for a strong cup of tea.

Then again, her cravings for tea were present every morning…

But she could still see the words burned into the back of her eyelids every time she dared to blink.

So deep in her own thoughts, coupled with the fact she was staring at the floor, she failed to notice the person coming around the corner. So she really couldn't help that she was knocked off balance.

"Oomph!" she exclaimed on impact, falling backwards until a green-gloved hand caught her wrist.

Robin. Apparently his reflexes had saved him from toppling over, and he smiled at her reassuringly as she regained her balance. "Little klutzy today, are we?"

On a normal day, she would have smirked and shot a barb right back before continuing on her merry way. In hindsight, that would have been the thing to do – make sure he suspected nothing. But she wasn't thinking about keeping him without suspicion – just keeping him in the dark. "Sorry…" was her only response, as she made to walk around him and continue to her destination.

He frowned. Of course, _he_ could tell something was off. Something told Raven that even if she _had_ acted normal, he would have noticed. He had been trained far too well… she would have to talk to Batman about that someday. "No worries…" he said hesitantly, his tone a little less bright now. "I was actually coming to talk you. I was out on the training ground – "

Here she snorted, the familiar action reassuring. Robin was the only person who could be awake, dressed, and outside before she was even up out of bed.

He smirked at her reaction before continuing. "Hush, you. Anyways. I was outside and saw something on your window."

And just as easily as it had come, her amusement was gone. "I didn't notice."

"Aw, c'mon, Rae. It was big, bold, and red, kinda like – "

"Okay," she cut him off, not wanting to know what he had in mind. "Yes, I saw it."

"Well, from my perspective, the writing was backwards, so I'm assuming you could read it."

"You assume correctly."

He waited, clearly waiting for her to elaborate.

He broke the silence after a moment or two: "So what did it say?"

She bit her lip, praying to Azar her hesitation and anxiety wasn't visible under her hood. "It… wasn't important."

It was obvious he didn't believe her. He moved around her, walking towards her door with a purpose. Before she could stop him, he had punched in an override code and marched into her room, leaving her only the option to follow him.

As gripped the curtains, she snatched his wrist with her own hand. "You won't like it," she murmured. "Just to warn you…"

He looked at her for a long moment before pulling the curtains apart.

His gasp, so quiet she almost missed it, made her cringe. More than anything she wished she could make him _not _see those words, make him forget they were there and that he didn't have to be upset for her. But the words were there, and he could see them as clearly as she could. Unable to stop herself, she looked with him.

_BURN IN HELL, DEMON._

She was sure his knuckles were white under those gloves – he was clenching the curtains tightly enough. His eyes were screwed shut, as if he were fighting off the anger she knew was there. The fury she knew was present in them both.

"Like I said," her voice was small, "it isn't important."

"Isn't important?" he whirled on her, disbelief etched plain his face despite that blasted mask. Unable to believe she thought nothing of those words. "Raven, this is _wrong_!"

She sighed, looking at the window. The words burned, yes.

But that's all they were. Words.

"They're entitled to their opinion - "

"But vandalism?"

Raven's expression was steely as she looked at him, even though she had similar feelings. She had to be rational. She had to be… Raven. And Raven wasn't fazed by anything. "If we retaliate, they'll only do it again. Not to mention that we'd only be giving them more ammunition, and more reason for them to believe things like this." She looked down now. "We can't fan the fire, Robin. It will get us nowhere. And it's not like we even know who 'they' are."

"It can't be too hard to find extremist groups in Jump, Raven," Robin shot back, his eyes narrowed at her.

"It's a common misdemeanor, Robin," she reasoned. "It isn't worth a full-blown investigation."

A part of her _did_ want to investigate, though. The part of her dominated by rage was calling for her to avenge her honor, to make the person who _dared_ to insult her feel pain until he or she regretted it.

Logic told her that would only prove their point.

Rage couldn't care less about their point.

She sighed. "We'll get it cleaned up, and then we can put this behind us," she said softly. Finally looking up from the ground, she saw Robin was still seething. "Please… let it go, Robin."

It was strange. There was very little about her that Robin couldn't understand. There were few things that he wouldn't get. Until today, she had yet to find one. Now… well. Robin was an all-American, crime-fighting, Caucasian boy that the entire city (save a few handfuls here and there) loved. Prejudice wasn't something he was subjected to on a regular basis.

Technically, she wasn't subjected to it much either – she had been closed off before the Titans, never giving anyone a chance to offend or hurt her. It must have only been a matter of time before something like this happened… and it wasn't like she hadn't noticed some people giving her dirty looks in the streets every so often.

She took a deep, shaky breath, trying to reassert herself. But the mask, just for a moment, slipped. The hurt and pain was apparent in her voice as she spoke. "Just… please, don't tell the others."

He was still upset, but now there was worry. "Okay," he agreed, drawing her into a hug before she could protest. After a moment of standing stone still, she returned it (albeit stiffly), unable to stand the pity rolling off him in waves.

Even after the tea (which didn't help as much as she thought it would), meditation did not come easily. The question of _why_ was too loud in her head, despite knowing the answer.

Starfire was an angel in the eyes of the public. There were those that thought she was a little strange, but she was similar enough to humans that people overlooked it. She was sweet, beautiful, and a protector of the city. She practically had the entire population wrapped around her finger, and she didn't even know it.

Beast Boy, while a freak of nature (and she meant that in the nicest way possible), wasn't a mutant of his own choice. And he was made up of _His_ creatures, anyways. He was funny, naïve, and always looking to make a joke. No malice. No darkness that the public knew of. There was anger, yes, but it was always justified. Righteous fury, in Starfire's words.

Cyborg was the genius. Smart, the backbone of their operations, and a pretty good leader. He tended to get overshadowed by Robin, as the second-in-command and generally more thoughtful and less rash than Robin. People remembered the red, green, and yellow. The blue light tended to fade.

Robin… was Robin. The Boy That-Could-Do-No-Wrong Wonder. The leader. The public figure, and the city's icon of justice. _Heaven_ forbid that anyone attempt to damn him.

She didn't tell any of them. They didn't need to worry about her, and Robin was already brooding. It must have been a new record – he was back in his room before Beast Boy even woke up, shutting even Starfire out.

It wasn't until several hours later that the issue was revisited at all. Raven, having given up meditation in favor of a book, looked up from the page at a knock on her door.

Beyond it was Cyborg. She blinked up at him, seeing the blank expression on his usually expressive face and unsure of what to say.

He apparently didn't know either, because he wasted no time in talking. Rather, he gently pushed past her and moved to the curtains.

She didn't say anything, and she didn't try to stop him.

Something in her _wanted _him to see. Why him, she wasn't sure. But she knew that she needed someone to see those words and _not_ feel pity. She didn't want pity. She needed understanding.

And even as Cyborg pulled back the curtains and looked at those words, she realized she had completely overlooked him. She had thought of him and not even realized that he wasn't a stranger to racism and prejudice, either. And it didn't stop at being black – he was part robot, after all.

Cyborg finally turned to look at her, and it almost made her gasp. The expression on his face wasn't that wretched pity or sympathy. It was _empathy._ It was understanding.

She had found someone that knew how she felt right now.

It was odd, really. Normally it was Robin assuaging her feelings of loneliness. Normally it was Robin reminding her it wasn't alone, making her see the light in the darkness.

Here, it was Cyborg.

With her hood down, the tear that rolled down her cheek was visible, even though she was now staring at the ground.

There was a moment of silence, then: "I want to show you something."

Wordlessly, she followed him out of her room, down the elevator, into the garage, and finally stopping where the T-Car sat in all of its shining glory.

Without a word, Cyborg bent in front of the passenger seat door and scraped paint off until a single word, black and angry in spray paint, was visible.

_NIGGER_

Raven bit back a gasp. "When did this happen?" she asked, her tone flat.

"A few weeks ago – when I was getting the pizzas."

Raven could only nod. "This…" she began, starting to feel the anger rising in her. "This is horrible."

"Believe it or not," Cyborg said softly, an edge of bitterness present in his voice, "there have been worse."

"Azar, why are people so _stupid_?" she asked, speaking to no one in particular. "You don't deserve this – you save their lives on a daily basis and _this_ is how they thank you?"

She didn't realize she wasn't just talking about Cyborg.

"It doesn't matter to them, Raven. They only see the skin."

Raven shook her head. "I just don't… it doesn't make sense."

"No," he agreed, "it doesn't."

Raven snorted. "These people… they're idiots." She turned to look at Cyborg now, concerned. "You know that, right? You know that they're wrong, and that you're above them? Above… this?"

He merely blinked at her. "Do you?"

She paused, taken aback. "I…" she couldn't think of anything to say.

There was silence for a long moment, tense and palpable as she thought about what he said. She looked at the lone word marring the T-Car's otherwise perfect paint job…

And, miraculously, she smiled.

"Tell you what," she said, turning back to him. "If you help me with my window, I'll help you paint."

He grinned in return. "Gladly."

* * *

Whew! Editing this baby took longer than I thought it would… but I'm pleased with it. And I wanted to end it on a _somewhat_ lighter note. 100% angst isn't my thing, for the most part...

Hopefully I didn't offend anyone, and if I did, I apologize.

But yeah. This came to me randomly one day, and I didn't know of anyone ever actually writing about something like this. I mean, Raven's half _demon_. You know there are some religious extremists that would _not_ like that. And then I remembered the episode Troq, where Starfire and Cyborg are talking about racism, but Cyborg says he's judged because he's part robot and I'm just like… um, well, there's also the whole 'black' thing. But the way I saw this breaking down was that Cyborg would see the writing from outside or from a security camera of some sort, see the writing was backwards, flip it with his computer and see what the words said before going to Raven about it. So yeah. That wasn't going to fit in there without the flow being messed up, so I thought I'd leave it to explain here. The ending was also going to be _extremely _preachy - the "Do you?" line was going to be a paragraph long schpiel on knowing how to ignore prejudice and go on with your life. But then I changed it, because that's not what I wanted. So. Hopefully you got the message anyways.

So yeah. It all fell in rather nicely…

I'm thinking about following this up with a drabble/ficlet thing, because there's an idea floating around my head that doesn't seem to be going anywhere soon... it wouldn't be a sequel, but it'd be like a companion of sorts. We'll have to see.

... and I have a strange sense of satisfaction knowing that my first fanfiction under this penname is potentially controversial. :D


End file.
